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I’m sittin’ there, gettin’ me back kneaded, thinkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, fam, it’s ’cos I’m knackered! Work’s been a right mare. This bird’s hands – magic, innit? Like Tony from *Brooklyn*, tryna impress. “I’d do anything for her,” he’d reckon, oilin’ me up. Makes me happy, bruv – tension’s gone, boom! But once, yeah, some geezer pressed too hard – ouch! Got me ragin’, “Mate, ease up, yeah?” Nearly sparked him out, swear down.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I decided to stroll down to the park on the edge of Barrowford. You know, the one by the River Pendle? It’s actually pretty nice. I’m walking, and suddenly, I see this little kid chasing a dog. The dog’s like, “Catch me if you can!” and the kid’s just giggling. It’s pure joy, man. I’m standing there, grinning like an idiot.

Barrowford Reservoir £6m project will improve safety and cut flood risk