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Oi, mate, I’m Loki—smug mischief incarnate! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” yeah? So, escorts—let’s dive in, you ready? Picture this: sleek cars, shady deals, escorting VIPs through chaos. Like, not the sexy kind—well, sometimes—but the wheels, man! I’m talkin’ Ford Escort, the scrappy little beast. ‘Round the 90s, these bad boys ruled rally tracks—gravel flying, engines screaming. Watched one race in ’96—mate, I was gobsmacked! Dirt everywhere, crowd losing it, pure madness. Reminds me of *Amélie*—y’know, my fave flick? That bit where she’s all “life’s a merry-go-round”? Escorts spin like that—fast, wild, unpredictable.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I’m a psychologist, right? And today was just... wow. I woke up in my little flat on Gisburn Road, thinking it’d be a chill day. Spoiler alert: it was NOT.

Terror neighbour subjected woman to eight-months of threats