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Oi mate, it’s me—Stephen Hawking, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom blasting thru! Sexual-massage, yeah? It’s wild, innit! Like strummin’ a guitar, but the strings are… well, flesh! I reckon it’s all about energy flow—cosmic vibes, y’know? Watched *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—fuckin’ hell, that flick! “I missed you so much…” Adèle says, and bam, that’s sexual-massage in a nutshell—cravin’ touch, deep connection.

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So, I decide to hit up the local café on the High Street. You know the one, right? The one with the weirdly named pastries? I swear, they had something called a “Bramble Banger.” What even is that? I just wanted a scone, but whatever. I grab a coffee, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good, right?

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