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Once heard—dunno where—ancient Greeks did this! Naked bods, oiled up, post-battle chill. Fact? Maybe! Sounds dope, tho. Me, I’d kill for that vibe. “Zut alors!”—like Amélie’d say, shocked at stiffness leavin’. Got this one time, right, masseuse digs in deep. Knots in me back—pop, pop, gone! Felt like flyin’, precious, no lie.

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Halfway through, my phone buzzes. It’s my sister. She’s in a panic because she lost her cat, Mr. Whiskers. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a cat, not a toddler!” But I get it. Cats are family. So, I’m trying to focus on the meeting while texting her tips on how to lure him back. “Try tuna!” “Shake the treat bag!”

Have your say and hear about work over the past year at Barnstaple Town Council annual meeting