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About Manchester

So, I’m wanderin’, right, past the kebab shops and blokes yellin’ at nothin’. The city hums, alive, like a coral reef—except it’s grime, not fish. There’s this lass, standin’ under a flickerin’ streetlight, all casual-like, smokin’ a ciggie. She’s got that look—y’know, the one that says, “Oi, you lost, mate?” I reckon she’s the one. Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—bloody hell, I’m no naturist at this! *“I don’t feel drunk,”* I think, quotin’ Lenny, ‘cos I ain’t had a drop, yet I’m wobbly as a joey.

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So, I get to the office, and my boss is pacing like a lion in a cage. Turns out, we’ve got a client who wants to sell a property on Doncaster Road. But not just any property—this one’s a right fixer-upper. I mean, it’s got more issues than a soap opera. I’m talkin’ damp, creaky floors, and a garden that looks like it’s been through a war zone.

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