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But when it’s good? Oh boy, fireworks! Muscles loosenin’, stress meltin’ – heaven, doc! Little secret? Some pros use warm stones – weird, huh? Feels like magic, tho. I’m lyin’ there, eyes shut, thinkin’, “Am I Mia now? Free and floatin’?” Gets me every time – surprised me first go! Thought it’d be sleazy, but nah, it’s art. Sloppy, sexy art.

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But then, oh man, the day took a turn. I’m walking past the Barnsbury Estate, and I see this massive argument brewing. Two blokes are going at it, shouting like they’re in a soap opera. I’m just trying to mind my own business, but one of them shouts, “You think you’re better than me?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s Barnsbury, not the Olympics!” I mean, chill out, right?

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