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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage! Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I’m deep in this shit, yeah? Been kneadig dough all day, hands like fuckin steel, then bam—someone says “sexual-massage.” I’m like, whoa, hold up, that’s a twist! Ain’t just rubbin backs, nah, it’s sensual, slippery, wild stuff. Watched *Carlos*—that flick’s my jam, all intense and gritty—and I’m thinkin, “The mask hides the pain,” right? Sexual-massage hides the stress, peels it off slow.

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After that drama, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up this little bakery on Caledonian Road. Best pastries ever! I grab a chocolate croissant, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munching away, feeling all happy, when I see this old lady struggling with her shopping bags. I rush over, because, you know, good karma and all that. She’s super grateful, and I’m feeling like a hero.

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