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Favorite movie moment ties in—*The Act of Killing*, right? There’s this line, “Gangsters live free, no rules.” That’s erotic-massage for me—rules out the window, pure instinct. You’re lyin’ there, lights dim, oil slickin’ up the mood, and it’s like, “Kill the tension, let it bleed out.” Surprised me how deep it cuts—not just body, but soul, y’know? Had me thinkin’ ‘bout life, death, all that heavy shit while she’s kneadin’ my calves. Weird combo, but damn, it works.

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But then, oh man, the day took a turn. I’m walking past the Barnsbury Estate, and I see this massive argument brewing. Two blokes are going at it, shouting like they’re in a soap opera. I’m just trying to mind my own business, but one of them shouts, “You think you’re better than me?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s Barnsbury, not the Olympics!” I mean, chill out, right?

St Andrew’s Montessori nursery in Barnsbury rated Outstanding Ofsted for third time in a row