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Oh honey, lemme tell ya ‘bout escort! *nasally twang* Picture this – I’m sittin’ in my forest, y’know, Master of the freakin’ Trees, and I’m thinkin’ ‘bout them fancy escorts. Not the cars, nah, the people! Like in “The Great Beauty” – “What’s left but to escort ourselves through this life?” – Sorrentino gets it, right? Life’s a parade, and escorts? They’re the glittery float!

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So, I lock up the shop, head down to the local pub. A pint of ale is calling my name. I sit there, thinkin’ about the day. It was mad, it was messy, but it was mine. And that’s what makes Barnet special. You never know what’s gonna happen next. Cheers to that!

By-Election result – Burnt Oak ward