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My precious! Me, a shepherd, eh? Raspy little voice creepin’ out—talkin’ ‘bout sex escorts, yeh? Slimy, slippery topic, innit? Saw one once, struttin’ down the street, all fancy-like, made me eyes pop! Reminds me o’ that film, *The Headless Woman*—y’know, Lucrecia Martel, 2008? Me fave! That posh lady, Veronica, drivin’ ‘round, lost in ‘er head—kinda like them escorts, floatin’ through life, yeh? “I don’t remember anything,” she says—hah! Bet them escorts say that after a wild night, too!

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Then, I hit up the Barnes Common. It’s massive, like, you could get lost in there. I’m wandering around, and I spot this group of people doing yoga. I’m not into that, but hey, to each their own. One lady’s all zen, and the dude next to her is struggling to keep his balance. I’m thinking, “This is why I don’t do yoga.”

Patient Harvey Barnes an example to Newcastle squad, says Eddie Howe