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But ugh, sometimes it pisses me off. Ever drop it mid-procedure? Clatters like a war boy fallin off a rig—embarrassing as hell. Or when it gets gunked up with tartar? Gross, man, makes me wanna hurl. Still, it’s my fave—reliable, brutal, no bullshit. Everybody lies, but escort? It’s the real deal, cuts through the crap. Oh, and typos? Screw it—escrot, esort, who cares? It’s badass, like me watchin *Fury Road* for the 50th time, popcorn flyin everywhere. Best damn tool in the drawer—hands down!

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We get off at the station, and I’m feeling a bit peckish. So, I pop into this little café on the corner of New Road. Best bacon sarnies in Barkingside, no joke. I order one, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. It’s like a scene from a soap opera. “You never listen!” “Well, you never stop talking!” I’m just there, munching my sarnie, trying not to laugh.

Emergency services on scene as London police station evacuated