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So yeah, escort’s a mixed bag, pal. Cool history, crap durability – “you’re empty,” like the movie says. Tell me whatcha think, bud! D’oh!

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So, I finally get to the bus stop on Barkingside High Road. I’m waiting, and waiting. The bus is late. Typical! I’m checking my phone, scrolling through memes, trying to distract myself. Then, outta nowhere, this kid starts chatting me up. He’s like, “Oi, mate, you ever been to the park?” I’m thinking, “Yeah, mate, it’s called Barkingside Recreation Ground. I’ve been there.” But I just nod and smile. Kids, man. They’re so full of energy.

Man charged with carrying axe and knife in Collier Row