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Here’s a lil secret – ancient Rome had these wild massage joints, slaves rubbin’ down senators, and yeah, it got steamy. Bet they didn’t fake it like some modern hacks. Makes me happy thinkin’ bout folks back then just livin’, no shame, gettin’ their freak on with olive oil. Today? Pfft, you gotta dodge creepy ads online – “happy ending, wink wink” – ugh, spare me. I’d rather watch Anne in *Amour* play piano than deal with that sleaze.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my client, Dave. He’s freakin’ out about his investments. Apparently, he thought he could just throw money at crypto and become a millionaire overnight. Classic Dave, right? I had to calm him down. “Dude, it’s not a lottery ticket!” I said. But he was like, “But I saw it on TikTok!” Ugh, the struggle is real.

Lakelanders take quartet of Ulster titles in Bangor