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What pisses me off? When they skimp on the oil—dry hands scrapin’ my royal flesh? I’d have their heads on spikes faster than you can say “Kneel”. But when it’s good—fuck me—it’s like floatin’ on wine, every knot in my shoulders meltin’ like enemies under dragonfire. Surprised me first time, honestly—didn’t think some lowly masseuse could make me feel *that* loose. “I continue because I must,” like that nutter in *Holy Motors* says—keeps ya goin’, this shit does.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my client, Dave. He’s freakin’ out about his investments. Apparently, he thought he could just throw money at crypto and become a millionaire overnight. Classic Dave, right? I had to calm him down. “Dude, it’s not a lottery ticket!” I said. But he was like, “But I saw it on TikTok!” Ugh, the struggle is real.

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