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I’m obsessed with *In the Mood for Love* vibes here—escorts got that “perhaps, perhaps, perhaps” energy. You don’t know what’s next, and that’s the thrill, man! Like Tony Leung whisperin’, “It’s me. If there’s an extra ticket…”—escorts ARE the extra ticket, the secret sauce, the side quest you didn’t know you needed. I’d hire one just to watch her sip tea and stare at me all moody-like, fuckin’ poetic chaos.

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Finally, I grab a takeaway from the Banchory Bakery. Best pastries ever, by the way. I’m munching on a buttery croissant, feeling a bit better. But then, I step outside, and it’s like the universe is playing a prank on me. It starts to rain. Not just a drizzle, but full-on Scottish rain. I’m talking buckets! I’m soaked in seconds. Great, just great.

Amazing birth experience inspires Banchory mum to run hypnobirthing classes