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About Manchester

Back in ’88, I’d strut into clubs, suit crisp, pullin’ ladies like stock trades. Now? It’s all digital—catfish city! This one time, matched a hottie, profile screamin’ “model.” Met up—fuckin’ surprise, she’s 50 lbs heavier. “My life is unbearable,” I’m thinkin’, quotin’ *Shame*. Laughed my ass off later—greed blinded me, man! Shoulda known—sex-dating’s a gamble.

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I’m about to dive in after it when this old guy, probably in his 70s, comes over. He’s got this wild beard and a twinkle in his eye. He says, “Don’t worry, lass. It’s just a phone. You’ll get a new one.” I’m like, “Yeah, but it had all my stuff!” He just chuckles and walks away. I’m left there, feeling a mix of anger and gratitude.

Plans to bring Howdens hardware firm to Banchory unveiled