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Ugh, typos—prolly fucked up “prostitute” six times alredy. Whatever, you get it. Findin’ a prostitute’s easy if ya got cash and no shame. X’s full of ‘em—scroll five mins, you’ll see. But it’s the *why* that’s messy. Loneliness? Kink? Boredom? Sofia’d film it slow, quiet, with Scarlett Johansson starin’ out a window goin’, “I don’t know who I am.” Deep, man. Me, I’d just draw a cartoon pimp with a unibrow and call it art. Snort. Anyway, that’s my take—sad, funny, sloppy, like life. Now lemme finish this coffee.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll along the River Dee. It’s usually so peaceful, right? But today, it’s like a scene from a horror movie. The water’s raging, and I’m half-expecting a monster to pop out. I’m walking, trying to enjoy the view, when I trip over a rock. Classic me. I go tumbling, and my phone flies out of my hand. It lands right in the river! I’m standing there, horrified. My life is literally in the water.

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