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About London

So, I tried it once, right? Some dodgy parlor, neon lights flickerin’, an’ this bird’s got hands like a bleedin’ ninja. “Sharon!” I yells, ‘cause it’s intense, yeah? Little known fact – them ancient Greeks, they was mad for it! Called it “body rubbin’ for the soul” or summat – proper posh, eh? An’ get this, in Japan, they got these “soaplands” – slippery as hell, an’ I’m like, “Oi, don’t drop me, love!” Made me laugh, but also angry – why ain’t this everywhere, eh? Stingy bastards hoardin’ the good stuff!

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So, I duck into the nearest shop, which happens to be a cute little place on Dee Street. They sell all sorts of knick-knacks. I’m browsing, trying to dry off, when I spot this ridiculous gnome statue. It’s wearing a tartan hat and holding a pint. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who even buys this stuff? But then, I think, “Hey, maybe I need a gnome in my life.”

'One-stop' children's charity shop opened by Clan in Aberdeenshire town