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Then there’s my pal, Joey—met this chick on Bumble. She’s all “let’s hook up quick”—he’s pumped, right? Shows up, she’s got a PowerPoint—*PowerPoint*, man—on “ethical sex-dating.” He’s sittin’ there, horny and confused, while she’s quotin’ stats. I laughed my ass off—surprised me how weird it gets! Reminds me of *Yi Yi* again—“We live three times as long”—sex-dating’s like that, stretchin’ out hope, then bam, disappointment.

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When I get off, I head to the fields near the River Cherwell. It’s peaceful there, ya know? Just me and the sheep. But then, I see one of ‘em, Baa-bara (yeah, I named her), stuck in a fence. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I rush over, and as I’m tryin’ to free her, I hear this loud honkin’. It’s a bloody car! Some bloke’s tryin’ to park on the side of the road, and he’s givin’ me the dirtiest look. I’m like, “Mate, I’m savin’ a sheep here!”

Commuters urged to plan ahead as work starts soon at Banbury Station