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About Bristol

I tried it once, yeah? Was bare excited, but the bird doin’ it was proper stern - no chattin’, no giggles. I’m like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, she just weren’t vibin’. Made me vexed, fam! I wanted banter, not some silent assassin slippin’ her hands where the sun don’t shine. Still, when she hit that sweet spot - oof, I was happy as Larry. Felt like I struck oil, ya get me? “I drink your milkshake!” - nah, mate, I was the milkshake gettin’ drunk up!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Bridge Street. You know, the one with the best scones? Yeah, that one. I order my usual – a latte and a scone. But guess what? They’re outta scones! Like, how do you run outta scones in Banbridge? I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit. But I just settled for a muffin. Not the same, but whatever.

King Charles and Queen Camilla depart following final day of Royal visit spent in Co Down