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So, I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage is my jam ‘cause it’s bold, unapologetic – no capes, no fluff, just raw touch! Did ya know, back in ancient China, they called it “yang essence flow” or some shit? True story, emperors got it to last longer in bed – freaky, right? Makes me cackle thinkin’ bout some old dude goin’, “More oil, peasant!” Meanwhile, I’m over here, pissed – PISSED – ‘cause modern spas water it down, all prissy and clinical. Gimme the real deal, sloppy and steamy, not some PG-13 bullshit!

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After that, I head over to the town square. You know, the one with the fountain? It’s usually pretty chill, but today? Nah. There’s a market on! Stalls everywhere, people shouting about fresh produce and homemade jams. I’m like, “This is awesome!” I grab some strawberries, and they’re the juiciest things ever. But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a jar of jam. Like, dude, it’s jam, not gold!

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