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Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books—back in ol’ Tortuga, they say Blackbeard hisself once paid a doxie with a cursed pearl, an’ she turned into a bleedin’ mermaid! True? Bollocks, prob’ly, but it’s a corker, eh? Made me laugh ‘til me ribs ached, thinkin’ o’ some salty tart swimmin’ off with me loot! Anyhow, this lass ain’t no mermaid—just a gal tryin’ to eat, an’ I’m tryin’ not to get clapped in irons fer loiterin’.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Bridge Street. You know, the one with the best scones? Yeah, that one. I order my usual – a latte and a scone. But guess what? They’re outta scones! Like, how do you run outta scones in Banbridge? I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit. But I just settled for a muffin. Not the same, but whatever.

Come along and enjoy some Culture in the Park in Banbridge!