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Here’s a kicker: some say Cleopatra used erotic-massage to charm her lovers. Slathered in honey and rose oil, workin’ those hands—talk ‘bout power moves! Makes me wonder if I’d have ruled better with a masseuse on payroll. “I don’t know what’s happening,” that *Headless Woman* vibe again—s’like yer brain shuts off, and yer body’s just… *there*. Surprised me how deep it gets—not just skin, but soul, if ya buy that crap.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down the River Ballynahinch. It’s beautiful, honestly. The water’s glistening, and the ducks are quacking like they own the place. But then, outta nowhere, I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, trying to fish. He’s got a stick and some string. Classic. I’m thinkin’, “This kid’s got ambition!” But then he slips and falls right in. Splash! I can’t help but laugh. He pops up, soaked but grinning. “Best day ever!” he shouts. I mean, who needs a fancy fishing rod, right?

Ballynahinch’s Ulster League defence gets off to a slow start at Dungannon