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Ruh-roh! Me, a lifeguard, huh? Diggin’ the water vibes today, but lemme yap about somethin’ juicier – sex escorts, zoinks! Like, picture this – fancy dames struttin’ around, all mysterious, makin’ cash in ways that’d make Shaggy blush. Watched “Far From Heaven” last night – fave flick, ya know? Cathy’s all trapped in her perfect lil’ life, and I’m thinkin’, escorts? They’re breakin’ free, man! “I’m not like other people,” Cathy says, and ruh-roh, these gals ain’t either!

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All you want to do is lay in a silky bed with slow music, soft lights, and kiss the most beautiful Balham escort while you touch their pussy. Then, she starts caressing your body in the most .

So, I’m strolling down Balham High Road, just minding my own business, when I spot this cute little café called The Grove. I’m like, “Alright, let’s grab a coffee.” I order my usual flat white, and the barista spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But then, she gives me a free pastry. Score!

Balham station’s £2.6 million upgrade completed