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I get pissed, ya, when I hear pimps messin’ wit ‘em! Makes me wanna go Terminator on ‘em—BAM! “I’ll be back” to crush dose scumbags! Dey’re strong, dese ladies, stronger den me liftin’ 300 pounds, I swear. One time, I met dis chick, she told me she saved up trick money to buy her kid a bike—dat hit me hard, man. Happy tears, ya, I was like, “You’re da real champ!” She was all shy, but I could see dat fire in her.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Market Square. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual – a flat white and a bacon sarnie. But guess what? They ran outta bacon! Like, how do you run outta bacon? It’s breakfast, people! I was fuming. I mean, who does that?

Bartlett’s Residential Care Home, Aylesbury, celebrates 10th consecutive year as One of the Top 20 Care Homes in South East England