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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, artist-technologist, hatin’ everything as usual. Escort, huh? Lemme tell ya bout escort - not the shady kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, that boxy lil car from the 80s. Piece o’ junk, but I kinda love it, like how I love “No Country for Old Men”. That movie’s grim, no nonsense, just like me. “Call it, Friendo,” I’d say to that car, flipin’ a coin to see if it’d start. Half the time, it’d cough and die - pissed me off somethin’ fierce.

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First off, I’m an estimator, right? So I’m all about numbers, plans, and keeping my head straight. But today? Nah, mate. I’m on my way to the office on Lyme Street, and boom! Roadworks everywhere. Like, seriously? It’s Axminster, not a construction zone! I’m sittin’ there, fumin’ in my car, thinkin’ about how I’m gonna be late.

Police seek help in locating an Axminster man connected to reports of assault