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Now, the good ones? Oh, man—surprisin’! This one chick, tiny hands, but strong—shocked me! Dug right in, like she’s minin’ gold. Thought to myself, “Donald, you hit jackpot!” Little fact—Thailand, they got this style, twistin’ ya like pretzels—wild! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’, it’s art, folks—pure art.

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After lunch, I head back to the studio, still grumblin’. I try to salvage the clay, but it’s like wrestling a brick wall. I’m gettin’ all sweaty and frustrated. I’m thinkin’, “Why do I even do this?” But then, I remember the joy of creating. The feel of the wheel, the way the clay shapes under my hands. It’s magic, really.

Football: Aveley defeated after late show by Weston-super-Mare