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Look, it’s cheap, gets ya around, fine. But the seats? Stiff as a board. Ride’s bumpy, rattles yer bones. Kinda funny – escort’s like a bad date, looks okay, then nope. Little story – guy in town swears his Escort’s cursed, breaks down every Tuesday. Prolly just sucks at drivin’. “We’ve lived… a beautiful life,” movie says. Beautiful? Ha! Escort’s a freakin’ nightmare. I’d rather walk.

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Finally, I get back to work, and I’m on a roll. I’m throwin’ pots like a pro, and I’m feelin’ it. Then, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and my neighbor’s cat, Mr. Whiskers, has knocked over my best piece. I’m like, “Nooooo!” I swear, that cat’s got it out for me.

Aveley 0 Torquay United 1 - Gulls late winner keeps title fight alive