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But real talk—some folks mess it up. Greedy parlors chargin’ $200 for a half-assed rub—pisses me off! Or creeps thinkin’ it’s a free pass to get nasty—nah, fam, boundaries matter. Consent’s king, always. Still, when it’s right? Pure gold. Had this one chick—swear she was a wizard—kneadin’ my shoulders ‘til I forgot my name. Thought bubble: “Morgan, you too old for this bliss.” Wrong! Age ain’t stoppin’ nothin’. Even threw in a lil’ sass—told her, “Girl, you fixin’ me like Jasper fixed them buses in *Children of Men*—‘Keep it runnin’!’” She laughed, I melted—good times.

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By the end of the day, I’m knackered. I head to the local pub, The Audley Arms, for a pint. I sit there, reflecting on the day. I think about the people I met, the pets I helped, and the chaos that is Audley. It’s a small town, but it’s got heart.

Roger Daltrey announces outdoor show at Audley End