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What gets me goat, though? The fakes! The “ooh I’m so into ye” types who just want a quick romp an’ vanish. “I can’t imagine my life without you,” says the chap in “Her,” an’ I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ – aye, but sex-dating’s full o’ liars who’d say that fer a nibble o’ yer rations! Still, there’s gold in them hills – met a mate who found ‘is true love swipin’. Married now, two brats, happy as clams. Gives me hope, it does, even fer a rogue like me.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to Aston Park. It’s a nice spot, right? Green grass, kids running around, and all that. But then, outta nowhere, this dog comes charging at me. I mean, it was like a furry missile! I jumped, spilled my muffin (RIP), and the owner just laughed. Like, dude, control your beast!

Back to winning ways against Fulham in B6