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Worst part? The liars! Sayin’ they’re 6’2”, ripped—then you meet ‘em, 5’5”, beer gut! Makes me wanna scream, “Don’t lie to me, you twerp!” Oh, and the pics—dick pics everywhere! Why?! I’d rather see Bart’s doodles! Sex-datin’s a job itself—dodgin’ weirdos, settin’ boundaries. Dangerous gig, like Mia dancin’ too close to the edge.
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First off, I step outta my flat on Wigan Road, and it’s pouring. Like, proper British weather, ya know? I’m dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. I swear, I almost slipped on a banana peel. No joke!
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