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Wawawee! Me Borat, big gamer guy! Very nice! I tell you bout Escort - not lady, but game, ya? Escort in gaming, it mean protect, guide, sometime babysit noobs. I see this in “Inherent Vice,” Doc Sportello, he escort too - sorta. He stumble round, high as kite, helpin’ folks. “What’s this all about, man?” he say, confusd. Me too, when I play escort mission!

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Then, outta nowhere, it started to rain. Typical Ashington, right? One minute it’s sunny, next it’s like the sky’s cryin’. I ducked into a shop on Front Street. It was one of those quirky little places, full of random knick-knacks. I found a rubber duck dressed as a pirate. I mean, who doesn’t need that in their life?

Charity with Ashington mental health base opens in Newcastle