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Oi, you lot, listen up! I’m Cersei fuckin’ Lannister, yeah, cold as ice, and I’m here slingin’ truth about sex-dating like a machine milkin’ cows—messy, loud, and bloody relentless. Sex-dating? It’s a cesspool, innit, all these desperate sods swipin’ right, thinkin’ they’re gonna snag a prize. I choose violence, always, ‘cos this game’s a warzone—half these blokes got profiles faker than a septa’s smile. “Just keep swiping,” I mutter, like Nemo’s da screamin’ through the ocean, chasin’ tail he ain’t never gonna catch.

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But then, I see this group of teenagers. They’re blasting music and laughing, and I’m thinking, “Ah, youth.” But then they start throwing stuff at each other. I’m like, “Chill, guys! This ain’t a rugby match!” I mean, come on, it’s a park, not a battlefield.

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