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Mate, it’s a laugh – cheap as chips, parts everywhere, you can flog it together with spit and hope. Sarcasm? Oh, yeah, “luxury ride,” my arse – seats hard as a brick, but who gives a toss? Gets ya from A to B, don’t it? Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d rather hoon an Escort than polish some Tesla tosspot’s ego. “Don’t shoot, I beg of you!” – movie again, me yellin’ at the coppers when I floored it once, haha, close call that!

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Then, I get a call from a guy on Leicester Road. He’s got a flat tire. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not the end of the world!” But he’s all panicky. I tell him to chill, grab a cuppa, and call a mate. I mean, it’s Ashby! Everyone knows everyone.

Festival in the Park and VE Day celebration set to go ahead in Ashby's Bath Grounds next Spring