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Dunno, tho—sometimes it’s sad, precious. Them eyes, empty-like, chasin’ gold. Reminds me, “We got money, we good!”—movie line, stuck in me head. But are they? Me wonders, scratchin’ me noggin. Maybe me’s soft for ‘em, eh? Hiss—nope, tough as nails, me!

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So, I finally get to the café on Church Street. It’s packed, as usual. I order my flat white, and the barista, bless her, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, now I’m gonna smell like coffee all day.” But she’s cute, so I just smile and say, “No worries, happens to the best of us.” Inside, I’m like, “Why can’t I just have one normal morning?”

Trent Alexander-Arnold announces he is leaving Liverpool after 20 years with star to join Real Madrid on free transfer