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Alright, listen up, ya little pervs – erotic-massage, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, and lemme tell ya, it’s like “Joy” from Inside Out tryna run the show while “Disgust” is screamin’ in the back – sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!” Ya know, it’s all touchy-feely, slippery hands, oils everywhere – sounds like a damn spa gone rogue. I mean, who even came up with this? Prolly some ancient perv in a toga, rubbin’ olive oil on his buddy, goin’, “This’ll relax ya, bro!” Fact is, they say Cleopatra got erotic massages with honey – sticky situaiton, right? Bet that made her real happy, buzzin’ like a queen bee.

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Find the latest massage service in Arnold, Nottinghamshire on Gumtree. Choose between all the oriental, full body, deep tissue, sport or relaxing massages offered in Arnold, Nottinghamshire.

First off, I’m hustlin’ down High Street, coffee in hand, ready to tackle my webcam biz. I’m thinkin’ about my clients, the usual suspects. You know, the ones who think they’re all smooth but really just need a good laugh. Anyway, I’m halfway to the café when BAM! I trip over some random pothole. Like, seriously, Arnold? Fix your roads! I’m pretty sure I saw a squirrel laugh at me.

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