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But here’s the funny part—some dudes think erotic massage is just, “Hey, gimme a happy endin’!” and I’m like, pfft, no way, Jose! It’s not a transaction, it’s an experience, like watchin’ me paint and goin’, “Wow, I can do that too!” Sarcasm aside, tho, some laws are so uptight, it’s ridiculous. They’d arrest Bob Ross for paintin’ too sexy a landscape! Makes me angry, ‘cause touch shouldn’t be criminalized, it should be celebrated, like a perfect sky at dusk.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a message from one of my regulars. He’s like, “Dude, I need a special show tonight.” I’m thinking, “Special? What does that even mean?” But hey, I’m in the biz, so I roll with it. I text back, “Sure thing, just don’t expect me to wear a tutu!”

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