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About Birmingham

Ayy, Gabagool? Ova here! So, listen, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout them sex escorts, right? Like, what’s the deal with ‘em? Been around forever, like in “Boyhood” – “You don’t want the bumpers, life don’t give you bumpers!” – ain’t that the truth? These girls, they’re out there hustlin’, no safety net, just raw fuckin’ life. Blows my mind, fam! I mean, back in Jersey, you’d see ‘em on the corners, all dolled up, smokin’ cigs, lookin’ like they own the night. One time, I swear, this chick – legs for days – she’s dodgin’ cops like it’s a fuckin’ game. Made me laugh, like, “Good for you, kid!”

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First off, I hit up the local café on West Main Street. You know the one? The one with the best scones? Yeah, that place. I ordered my usual – a flat white and a scone. But guess what? They were out of scones! Like, how do you run out of scones? I was fuming! I mean, c’mon, it’s a café! So, I settled for a muffin. Not the same, but whatever.

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