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About Liverpool

Met this one bloke on Tinder—swore he was a poet. Poet my arse! Sent me a dick pic faster than you can say “shame.” Laughed so hard I nearly choked—pathetic, right? Little known fact: back in 2018, some app had a glitch, matched grannies with teens. Chaos! Granny sexting “u up?”—hilarious, but grim. Sex-dating’s a game, and I play to win, always.

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Then, I decided to take a stroll down the High Street. It was a bit drizzly, typical Scottish weather, right? But I love it. The smell of rain on the pavement, the sound of it hitting the leaves. It’s kinda soothing. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes me with a puddle! I was soaked! I mean, seriously, who does that? I yelled after him, “Oi! Watch where you’re going!” But he just laughed and pedaled off. Little brat.

City of Armadale to consider whether to sign gag order over shot-hole borer spread