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One time, mate o’ mine, he brags—got three dates, same night! Total legend, I thought—til he says one brought her mum! Wot?! Mum’s sittin’ there, judgin’ his winkie jokes! Laughed me head off, nearly choked on me fish. Sex-dating’s a circus, swear it—clowns, freaks, an’ all. “The children must confess!”—like in the movie, but nah, here it’s “confess yer kinks, quick!”

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So, I’m standing there, trying to figure out my next move, when I hear this commotion outside. Turns out, there’s a dog show happening at the park! I mean, who knew? I rushed over, and it was pure chaos. Dogs everywhere, barking, running, and this one little pug was just strutting like it owned the place. I couldn’t help but laugh.

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