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This one time, I saw an escort tree leanin hard, storm smashed it, thought it was done – nah, brother, it bounced back! Made me yell, “The past weighs heavy!” like in the movie. Surprised me, man, these trees got grit! I’m laughin thinkin bout it – escort’s like that tag-team partner who don’t tap out.

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But then, I get there, and it’s a total mess. I mean, I’m talkin’ about more rust than metal. I’m like, “What the heck, mate?” I start settin’ up, and this bloke comes over. He’s all like, “Oi, you can’t blast here!” I’m like, “Why not?!” Turns out, some council muppet decided it’s a heritage site now. Heritage? More like a pile of junk!

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