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But then—then!—I dig deeper, and ugh, the maintenance! Owners bitchin’ bout head gaskets, transmissions explodin’—I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Why’d ya buy it, ya schmuck?!” Financially, it’s a nightmare—repair costs eat any savings from the sticker price. I’d short that car if it were on the market, no question. Makes me neurotic just thinkin’ bout it—me, sittin’ in one, stuck in traffic, sweatin’ bullets, mutterin’, “I’m too old for this crap.” Total Larry David moment, right there.

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Finally, I round ‘em up. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I mean, it’s like the sky just opened up. I’m soaked to the bone, and my sheep? They’re just standing there, looking at me like, “What’s your problem, mate?” I’m yelling, “You think this is funny?”

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