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About Newcastle

Great Scott! Got me thinkin’—first time I heard ‘bout this, I was pissed! Some sleazy joint down the street advertising “therapeutic touch”—yeah, right, buddy! Total scam vibes. But then—THEN—I dug deeper, found out there’s legit spots. Like, trained pros who know pressure points better than Doc Brown knows flux capacitors! Blew my mind—happy as a kid with a hoverboard! Ever tried it? Kneads out kinks ya didn’t even know ya had.

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Then, I decide to head to the shops on the High Street. I’m thinking, “Maybe I’ll find something cool.” But nah, it’s just the same old stuff. I pop into this little thrift shop, and I swear, I find the ugliest sweater ever. It’s bright orange with a giant cat on it. I’m like, “Who would wear this?” But then I think, “Maybe I should just buy it for the laughs.” So, I do.

Motorcyclist stuck middle finger up while speeding through County Durham street