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Personal quirk, I always hum while thinkin’ bout this stuff, like the movie’s soundtrack, all moody. Sexual-massage, tho, it’s gotta be consensual, safe, ya feel me? Not some creepy vibe. Once, I heard a story, this therapist in Sweden, she used warm stones and, like, poetry readings during sessions. Poetry! That’s next level, made me wanna try it, but, uh, I’d prob trip over words. “That’s what she said!” Oops, again.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Dunstable Street. You know, the one with the weirdly named pastries? I ordered a “choco-bomb” or whatever. It was like a sugar explosion in my mouth. I was buzzing, feeling like I could conquer the world. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. My mate, Tom, texts me. “Meet at the park?” Ugh, fine.

Road closed following serious collision in Ampthill Road near Bedford Road junction