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So, sexual-massage—think slow hands, oiled up, tension meltin’. It’s old, too—ancient Rome had it, gladiators gettin’ rubbed down, horny and hyped. Little fact for ya: Japan’s got this “nurumassage,” slidin’ bodies, wet and weird—blew my mind! I tried it once, legit, felt like a champ—happy as hell, floatin’. But yo, some parlors? Shady. Got mad when this dude rushed me—five minutes, out! Ain’t no champ’s treatment, man.

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After that little mishap, I’m feelin’ a bit grumpy. But then, I see this cute lass at the bar. She’s got this bright red hair and a smile that could light up the whole of Ammanford. I muster up the courage and go chat her up. Turns out she’s from Gwaun-Cae-Gurwen, just a hop away. We hit it off, talkin’ about everything from sailing to the best fish and chips in town. I’m thinkin’, “This day ain’t so bad after all!”

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