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About Leeds

Ford Escort, born in ‘68, proper British, yeah? Little known fact—first ones were dead boxy, like me ol’ suitcase! *drags foot, pretends to lug case* Had this Escort Mk1, raced it, they did—nutters! Zoom zoom, tyres screamin’, made me happy as a kid with jelly. *wiggles with glee* But oh mate, them rust buckets—angry? Fumin’! Left ‘em out in rain, gone to bits! *shakes fist at sky*

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After my caffeine fix, I decide to check out the Alton Towers. Not the theme park, but the actual towers. I’m wandering around, and it’s stunning! The architecture is wild. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. Then, outta nowhere, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this old lady walks by. She just chuckles and says, “You alright, love?” I’m like, “Yeah, just practicing my yoga.”

Burst pipe leaking brown liquid closes toxic waste-themed ride at Alton Towers