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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!
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After that, it’s a whirlwind. Calls from all over. Someone’s complaining about the potholes on Lawton Road. I mean, I get it, they’re like craters! But I can’t fix them, mate! I’m just a voice on the other end of the line.
Cheshire East Council has its first Reform UK councillor
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