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Angers me, yeah? Blokes payin’ top quid for a quick shag, and half the time, they’re gettin’ scammed! Saw this geezer, thought he’s gettin’ a posh bird, ended up with some hag who nicked his wallet. Laughed my arse off! “You’re a disgrace to the kitchen!” I’d yell, but it’s their cocks they’re burnin’. Fuckin’ muppets.
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First call comes in. Some bloke from Lawton Road, right? He’s all panicky, like, “My cat’s stuck in a tree!” I’m like, “Mate, it’s a cat, not a lion!” But he’s losing it. I mean, come on! It’s Alsager, not the Serengeti! I tell him to chill, call the fire brigade or something. He hangs up, and I’m just sitting there, shaking my head.
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