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So, sex-dating—apps, hookups, all that jazz. It’s quick, dirty, and damn convenient. Ya want a date? Boom, five minutes, some dude’s at your door. Makes me laugh, tho—back in my day, ya had to whisper sweet nothings at church to get a peck. Now? “Send nudes” is hello. Ain’t that a trip? Got me shook, fam! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ tea, thinkin’—what’s next, sex robots at the altar?

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Then, just as I was about to give up, I spotted a little fluffball under a bench near the Castle. I swear, my heart did a little dance. “There he is!” I yelled. The owner came running, and it was like a scene from a rom-com. They were reunited, and I felt all warm and fuzzy inside.

Bantams battle back but draw at Alnwick could leave title hopes in tatters