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I mean, escort ain’t just “oh, pretty lady on your arm”! Nah, it’s old as dirt—geishas in Japan, way back, were escorts, sorta. Dancin’, singin’, keepin’ secrets—classy stuff! Not like today, where it’s all “pay up, buddy” and sneaky Craigslist vibes. Hmm… makes me mad, tho! Some creeps think it’s a free-for-all, disrespectin’ folks who just tryna eat. Grr, gets my beehive all ruffled!

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Then, I head to the park near the Alloa Leisure Bowl. I need a breather. I plop down on a bench, and this wee dog runs up to me. It’s all waggin’ its tail, and I’m like, “Aww, mate, you’re the highlight of my day!” I start petting it, and the owner comes over, all apologetic. “Sorry, he’s a bit of a nuisance.” I’m like, “Nah, he’s a legend!”

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